Sometimes Silver Linings are Blue

Sorry Not Sorry

Archive for the tag “death”

Shadow Dancing


Lost and shattered without you here
No words of wisdom for me to hear
Spinning madly out of control
Falling down the rabbit hole

On my knees trembling to stand
Searching for your helping hand
Reaching up, but failing to grasp
Pleading with each and every gasp


Bargaining for just a mere glance
Grant me one last song and dance
Intertwine your fingers with mine
Shadow dancing on cloud nine


Feeling the calmness of your skin
For a moment I’m whole once again



Carisa Adrienne

My Own Two Hands


My hands holding baby Cole without a heartbeat
My hands swaying baby Emma, who’s in remission
My hands embracing baby Jaxon’s mom, fearing his diagnosis
My hands running baby Natalie’s lab with my eyes filled with tears
My hands fist pumping baby Dylan’s own tiny fists
My hands coloring with baby Noah, whose life will be short but sweet
My hands reprimand baby Jack’s dad for drinking and driving
My hands high-five Bailey’s hands for being accepted into Stanford
My hands, giving baby Carter immunizations to stay well
My hands praying baby Madison will stay awake as we run across the air bridge
My hands hitting the wall with anger because baby Madison passed on
My hands blowing kisses to baby Oliver, who says, “I lub you Cissy!”
My hands comfort baby Justice’s mom who was never granted it for herself
My hands holding Taylor’s mom’s hands after she took her life
My hands, wiping away my tears thinking of beautiful Taylor, who had it all
My hands bitten by baby Cruz who’s anxious about his lip being sutured up
My hands excited to hear about Sasha’s prom date – I used to call her baby Sasha too
My hands, humming with baby Axle’s head between my chin and chest
My hands, laughing at little Cash’s jokes he loves to tell
My hands coming unglued at baby Lilly’s dad because of her bruised little body
My hands couldn’t stop my mouth from screaming my despair at baby Lilly’s dad
My hands broken seeing baby Luca in a coffin  He tried to swim, but couldn’t
My hands learning handshakes from little Reese’s hands – We met when he was 7 days old now he is 7 years old
My hands have helped little lives grow into beautiful souls
My hands have helped beautiful souls peacefully pass on from this world
No matter what my hands are holding it’s done with limitless LOVE ❤️

Carisa Adrienne

The song My Own Two Hands  is an amazing song



The Comfort of the Massacre



giphy (17)

I penned my first poem when I was 7 years old. I found it a few years ago, stuck in-between pages in a book of my mothers. The paper tattered almost unrecognizable, but I knew the words by heart. I wrote about a morning that changed the course of my life. I was living with evil. Even so, that morning was when the outside world began to know my inside life.

I can still taste metal from the presence of blood. I see the butcher knives stabbed into the walls. I still envision the words written in blood. Yet, the most vivid memory was the song playing on the radio… Oh, how that song can make me shiver…

I always find silver linings in all my challenges. Several silver linings emerged from this battle. My brother survived and he is a true inspiration. I also discovered my love of writing. Pen and paper have been my constant ally.

Life is beautiful, even in the midst of tragedies.

Look between the lines, read between the words.

I’m impressed with my 7 year old self…


you walk in 

see your kin

dead on the floor 

when you open the door

you back up 

tears filling in a cup

seeing the knife 

that took your brother’s life 



I’m the little blonde girl ❤️

The song playing on the radio that morning, now is on my playlist.

I tend to take negatives and make positives: )

There is one verse that still gives me goosebumps..

Abracadabra, I’m wanna reach out and grab ya….

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